Review: Food Jammers
I finally got a little quality time with the Cooking Channel so I am attempting to review several of the shows I have not seen. Time to experience Food Jammers.
Thanks, Cooking Channel, that’s 30 minutes of my life I’ll never get back. At first I thought Food Jammers was a show about molecular gastronomy not unlike Planet Green’s Future Food which chronicles the creative process at Chicago’s Moto but it isn’t. It should be, but it isn’t.
Food Jammers is more like Mythbusters, no Robot Wars than a cooking show. In fact, actual flavor is not a goal. In one episode they decide to make a cake in the image of an old car. Host Nobu Adilman comments, “I could care less what this cake is going to taste like.” If you enjoy food and TV shows about food there is really no reason to watch the show. Like Justin Bieber, this Canadian import is best left north of the border.
Here’s the gist – three slackers with a backyard full of junk try to McGyver creations that can only loosely be considered food. Or as the network’s web site puts it:
Far from the ordinary stand-and-stir cooking show, Food Jammers features a high-impact, low-fi culinary contraption conceived, designed and constructed in the Jammers’ warehouse studio. Food Jammers are artists, inventors and dudes who can really cook. Each week these three offbeat adventurers come up with a crazy scheme to rock the food world. With bold ideas, heavy machinery and a taste for the extreme, they turn up the heat and bring on the inventions. Follow along on this tasty, madcap food odyssey that’s sure to satisfy your craving for an unusual viewing adventure.
I really cannot understand why the Cooking Channel chose to air this show. Sure hosts Adilman, Micah Donovan and Chris Martin display some amazing ingenuity for creating things but they neither create nor try to create good food. Even if they did, I’m not sure you would want to eat it as all three apparently believe bathing should only be done in moderation.
The production value of the show is poor as lighting, cinematography and editing, like taste, are only afterthoughts. Frankly I have seen much better work on youtube. The animations between scenes are humorous.
Now after all this Food Jammers-bashing one might think I dislike the show but I don’t. It is entertaining, or at least could be with a jug of cheap wine and a bag of Amsterdam’s finest. It just isn’t a food show. In fact it is an affront to foodism (is that a word?) and perhaps that is the point. But since the purpose of the Cooking Channel is to appeal to the foodies who have felt alienated by Food Network’s recent direction it comes across as a slap in the face to their target audience. After watching it I’m left wondering what Bob Tuschman was smoking when he selected Food Jammers as part of his inaugural line-up at the new network.
7 Questions with Natalie Slater
7 Questions is a series of interviews with the culinary movers and shakers you want or ought to know better.
The world of food is filled with many colorful characters, most of whom sport personalities that are bigger than life. There are ostentatious French chefs, food critics who wear disguises and even the odd food writer turned TV host. All owe a certain amount of their fame to their inherent quirkiness. Then there are the bloggers.
There are the Julie Powell’s who blog simply to bring the chaos of the modern world into focus and in so doing attain fame and fortune with a book followed by a movie. Her name is now a verb. EX: I’m going to start a blog about Popsicles and then I’m going to Julie Powell that sucker. There are the Kamran Siddiqui’s who’s keen eye for food photography, gentle spirit and taste for exotic flavors have earned him a great deal of international notoriety; not bad for a high school student. Who knows what the futures holds for this brilliant young man?
Then there is Natalie Slater of Chicago, a marketer by day and blogger by night. Slater is unique, boisterous and infused with rock & roll intensity. She owns no bakery, doesn’t work at a restaurant, has no fancy grand deplome from a stuffy French culinary academy. What she does have, in addition to her sexcentric haircut and sleeves of ink, is an unapologetic sweet tooth.
Slater’s blog, Bake and Destroy, is an extension of her personality. It is a hot pink and black leopard print of heavy metal cupcakery. Just as Slater kicks in the door of the starched white world of baking with stiletto heels and fishnet stockings, B&D takes the light and delicate idea of dessert and straps it into the passenger seat of a ’67 Pontiac GTO, forces it to shotgun a Natty Light while outrunning the fuzz as Immortal blasts at an unhealthy volume. Slater makes cake cool.
B&D is filled with recipes for Goth-themed pies and cupcakes brimming with sexual innuendo. There is a call to arms to fight diseases, “Do you love cake, but hate cancer?” And there are plenty of pictures of Slater modeling sexy and sassy aprons for her pals at Cupcake Provocateur. It’s a horror picture with sprinkles and a chocolate pudding center.
Now that you have learned a little bit about the petit four pocket hottie now it’s time for her to answer 7 Questions:
1. How old were you when your self-proclaimed cake obsession started?
My grandma bought me an EZ Bake Oven for my birthday one year – I’m guessing I was about four. My birthday is two weeks before Christmas and here was this little kid making everyone stop what they were doing to taste a cake she baked with a light-bulb. My gram suggested I bake one for baby Jesus’ birthday, and when it was done we left it out for him – it disappeared. I really believed he floated down and gobbled up the cake I made him. I guess I impressed myself at that point – Jesus likes my baking! From that point on my mom couldn’t bake so much as a blueberry muffin without me insisting on breaking the eggs or measuring the flour.
2. When did you start your blog, Bake and Destroy?
I started Bake and Destroy over four years ago when my son was newborn and I was working as a nanny. I was home all the time and baked to keep my sanity. The blog was a way for me to keep in touch with my friends – none of which had kids yet. I never imagined anyone besides those few people would read it.
3. You were a judge in the pilot episode of Cupcake Wars. Can we expect to see you in future episodes?
I really doubt it. Originally they wanted me to compete and I told them they were nuts. 1000 cupcakes? No way dude! Then one night I had my son in the tub and one of the producers called me. She was like, “Natalie, this is boring, we need you.” I flew out the next morning. Unfortunately they felt the need to cover up all my tattoos for the show – no one knows why! One of the contestants had tons of tattoos! Anyway I just felt sweaty and uncomfortable, it was a bummer. I’d do it again if they asked on the condition that I can wear short sleeves. I’m from Chicago – it’s hot in LA!
4. I’m a savory guy so I am a little perplexed by the sheer volume of cake decorating shows on television. To what do you attribute their phenomenal success?
I think, like tattoo shows, it’s a peek into a world that has existed forever but not many people were involved in. In the same vein, you get to watch people do things that you yourself may never be able to do. I do think they can move on now, though. I’m looking forward to Just Desserts- the pastry competition on Bravo. I’m ready for flavor to matter again.
5. Other than Cupcake Wars what cake shows do you enjoy?
6. So which would you rather have a cake decorated like a tattoo or a tattoo of a cake?
A cake tattoo! I’ve noticed that tattoo artists can render a great looking cake tattoo but cake artists aren’t so hot at tattoo cakes.
7. Your look, your personality and even your blog scream personality; what inspires you?
Well thank you. I have been told I burst from the womb shouting “Hey everyone! Look at me!” I draw from so many places – my beautiful city, my fearless son, all the classy TV shows I grew up on like pro wrestling, Married with Children and Headbangers Ball. My friends and family are a huge inspiration, I’m always looking to make them laugh or to embarrass them. So it’s easy- endless inspiration.
