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Hell Hath No Fury Like a Martha Scorned

There was a time when Martha Stewart ruled the airwaves with helpful hints and creative ideas for the kitchen.  But that was a long, long time ago.  Today Martha can be seen on Halmark (which is Martha Scowlingapparently a TV channel).  Or make that Martha was last seen on Halmark.

The Martha Stewart Show is being canceled by Hallmark in May.  Why?  An average audience of just 225,000 viewers for starters.  That’s less than Polish stock car racing gets.  Extremely high production costs is another.  Adding salt to the wound, Home Depot is dumping Martha Stewart-branded paint and the value of Martha Stewart Living’s stock is plunging.  Finally, moving into to Martha’s old studio at Chelsea Market is Rachael Ray.

Rachael RayYes, the very same Rachael Ray that Martha once described as, “more of an entertainer than she is, with her bubbly personality, than she is a teacher like me,” on ABC’s “Nightline.”  She went on to say that one of Rachael’s cookbooks was “not good enough for me.”  The same Rachael Ray who’s show long ago replaced Martha’s as the “go to” lifestyle show.  I guess “bubbly” is Martha-speak for likable.

Well, apparently seeing the newer, younger, hipper version of herself was too much for Martha last week when she and “RaRay” just happened to dine at the same Bond St. hot spot, Il Buco Alimentari e Vineria.  A witness of the event told the New York Post that, “Martha was staring Rachael down as soon as she walked in with a group of friends. Martha looked disgruntled. You could definitely feel Martha’s heat in that kitchen.”

Rachael, who was accompanied by Time magazine food writer Josh Ozersky, became quite uncomfortable with Stewart’s evil eye and elected to get her entree to go.  Stewart’s camp denies their matron was even aware that Ray was on site but according to everyone who was at the restaurant it was obvious that Stewart was aware as she was, “noticeably glaring in Ray’s direction throughout her meal.”

Stewart once condescended of Ray, “I don’t know if she has a garden; I don’t think so.”  Well, one thing Rachael does have that Martha doesn’t is a TV show.

By the way, I asked Josh what was in his doggie bag and he told me, “short ribs, of course!

Cheflebrity Death Match – Anthony Bourdain vs. Paula Deen

So it appears that Tony Bourdain and Paula Deen are in a pissing contest.  Well, this should be fun.  FOOD FIGHT!!!!!!!!

Anthony BourdainAnthony fired the first shot in an interview with TV Guide saying that, “The worst, most dangerous person to America is clearly Paula Deen. She revels in unholy connections with evil corporations and she’s proud of the fact that her food is f—ing bad for you. If I were on at seven at night and loved by millions of people at every age, I would think twice before telling an already obese nation that it’s OK to eat food that is killing us. Plus, her food sucks.”

Tony, via Twitter, later said he was slightly misquoted, “My comment was actually‘worst, most dangerous to America cook on FN [Food Network].”  Oh, yeah.  That’s much better.

It was part of an article where TV Guide had asked Bourdain his take on a number of Food Network faves.  He also voiced his distaste for Guy Fieri, Sandra Lee and of course his favorite whipping girl Rachael Ray.  As far as Tony’s thoughts on Paula’s cooking I have to say that I’m a Southern chef who grew up one state over from Deen.  I’ve never cooked like her and I’ve never known anyone who cooked like her.  Most people in the South can’t afford that much butter.

Deen has not been quiet on the subject nor particularly honest saying, “Anthony Bourdain needs to get a life.”  Just today she retorted in an interview with The New York Post. “You don’t have to like my food, or Rachael’s, Sandra’s and Guy’s.  But it’s another Paula Deenthing to attack our character.”  Oh no she didn’t go there did she?  Paula Deen has been sued more times than Obamacare.  Check that out HERE.

She continued saying, “I wake up every morning happy for where I am in life. It’s not all about the cooking, but the fact that I can contribute by using my influence to help people all over the country. In the last two years, my partners and I have fed more than 10 million hungry people by bringing meat to food banks.”

Deen zinged that Bourdain’s only contribution to society is “being irritable.”  I think the folks at Doctors Without Borders would disagree with her.  Bourdain has been one of their most vocal supporters.

Deen was kind of right.  Smithfield donated roughly 150,000 pounds of protein to food banks across the country.  Deen and her boys joined Smithfield in ten cities to help hand out some of the delivery.  If you go by Paula’s “10 million” number then that means each person got about 3 ounces of meat.  Merry Christmas.

Perhaps when she said 10 million what she meant was the dollar amount she’s been sued for, repeatedly.  And for Tony’s part, his harsh words about Paula were nothing compared to his feelings on Sandra Lee, “Pure evil. This frightening Hell Spawn of Kathie Lee and Betty Crocker seems on a mission to kill her fans, one meal at a time. She must be stopped.”

Now, discuss it amongst yourselves.  That’s what the comments section is for after all.

‘Hell’s Kitchen’ Finale Recap

Danny Veltri is the winner by Vicki Hyman The Star-Ledger
Thursday May 14, 2009, 12:29 PM

FOX
Danny Veltri takes home the tocque in the finale of the fifth season of ‘Hell’s Kitchen,’ with Gordon Ramsay.

Self-described Florida redneck Danny Veltri walked onstage at the Borgata’s Music Box just minutes after chef Gordon Ramsay announced on the “Hell’s Kitchen” finale that he beat out more experienced cook Paula DaSilva and would helm a new restaurant at the Atlantic City resort.

Trading in his signature camouflage backwards baseball cap for a white backwards baseball cap, Danny also donned a white chef’s jacket and told the crowd, his voice breakaing, “It’s the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

Save a first disastrous dish, Danny had been high up on the list of contenders this season — usually calm and efficient in the kitchen, comfortable at the different stations, and impressing Ramsay in the team and individual challenges. The finale episode pitted Danny and Paula against each other during one final dinner service, each side of the kitchen dishing up their own creations, and each kitchen staffed by ousted contestants, some of whom (LACEY) continued to be annoying and useless to the point of — dare we say it? — sabotage.

Danny’s kitchen also seemed to move more smoothly, though Ramsay said that quality, not speed, counted. Ramsay also said it was the best kitchen service on both sides of any finale, and indeed the cussing, spitting and name-calling were pretty much kept to a minimum. In the end, he awarded the grand prize to Danny, who will work under chef Stephen Kalt at the soon-to-be-opened regional Italian eatery, Fornelletti. Welcome to New Jersey!

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Stuart in 80 Words or Less

Stuart is a celebrity chef, food activist and award-winning food writer. He penned the cookbooks Third Coast Cuisine: Recipes of the Gulf of Mexico, No Sides Needed: 34 Recipes To Simplify Life and Amigeauxs - Mexican/Creole Fusion Cuisine. He hosts two Internet cooking shows "Everyday Gourmet" and "Little Grill Big Flavor." His recipes have been featured in Current, Lagniappe, Southern Tailgater, The Kitchen Hotline and on the Cooking Channel.

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Stuart’s Honors & Awards

2015 1st Place Luck of the Irish Cook-off
2015 4th Place Downtown Cajun Cook-off
2015 2nd Place Fins' Wings & Chili Cook-off
2014 2015 4th Place LA Gumbo Cook-off
2012 Taste Award nominee for best chef (web)
2012 Finalist in the Safeway Next Chef Contest
2011 Taste Award Nominee for Little Grill Big Flavor
2011, 12 Member: Council of Media Tastemakers
2011 Judge: 29th Chef's of the Coast Cook-off
2011 Judge: Dauphin Island Wing Cook-off
2011 Cooking Channel Perfect 3 Recipe Finalist
2011 Judge: Dauphin Island Gumbo Cook-off
2011 Culinary Hall of Fame Member
2010 Tasty Awards Judge
2010 Judge: Bayou La Batre Gumbo Cook-off
2010 Gourmand World Cookbook Award Nominee
2010 Chef2Chef Top 10 Best Food Blogs
2010 Denay's Top 10 Best Food Blogs
2009 2nd Place Bay Area Food Bank Chef Challenge
2008 Tava: Discovery Contest Runner-up

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