Review: Halloween Wars
OK, Food Network has flooded the airwaves with yet another dessert competition, Halloween Wars. Here’s what they say about it:
The four episode competition series places five teams, comprised of cake decorators, 
candy makers and pumpkin carvers, working in unison to create the ultimate Halloween themed display. One team is eliminated each week, with the winner taking home $50,000. Hosted by Justin Willman (magician Justin Kredible who also hosts Cupcake Wars), and including renowned cake decorator Shinmin Li and Hollywood conceptual artist Miles Teves on the judging panel, the competitors must battle it out to prove who is the best, all the while scaring viewers pants off with some of the most amazing horror tales through their cake, candy and pumpkins.
I will say this, the fact that Halloween Wars is a seasonal show centered around a day pseudonymous with sweets makes it better than any other sugar cook-off in history. In fact, had we not already had nine million dessert contests shoved down our metaphorical throats I might have really enjoyed this. However, words simply cannot do justice to the exhale of frustration that erupted from me as a judge actually critiqued a cake-monster for not having enough fangs. Seriously?
If you are a fan of cookie cutter sugar shows enjoy. I have lost my patience with this kind of programing. I could handle this lack of creativity from producers if they weren’t all so damned boring. Dessert oriented shows can be broken down into two categories the good (anything including Duff Goldman) and the wretched (everything else).
Halloween Wars airs Sundays 9/8 Central on the Food Network. I’ll be watching the NFL game until Iron Chef returns, flipping over to South Park reruns during the commercials of course. I’m not a barbarian.
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“Cupcake Wars” Premieres
Are you serious? A series about competitive cupcake making?
In case you are lost, what I am talking about the Food Network is premiering a new series about, get this now, competitive cupcake making called Cupcake Wars. As if elevendy-gazillion cake decorating contests (and none of them good) are not enough now they are going to have miniature cake decorating contests. I don’t know if there is a market for televised cupcake bakers. Then again I never dreamed that a glorified karaoke night would ever shatter television records like American Idol has.
Apparently cupcake bakers (cupcakesters?) are very territorial as the original concept for Cupcake Wars was a documentary about their often heated turf wars. Now the idea of cupcakesters rumbling like the kids in an S.E. Hinton novel has a certain appeal – provided they do battle with rolling pins. But after some discussion, Super Delicious (the production company responsible for Cupcake Wars as well as Manswers and The Assistant) morphed it into a weekly no-holds-barred, loser-leave-town cupcake battle royal.
What makes Cupcake Wars even more unfathomable to me is that the host’s name is, hold your hat, Justin Kredible. He fancies himself a magician. For his first trick, I hope he makes this show not suck.
The pilot episode features blogger Natalie Slater (Bake and Destroy) as well as cupcaksters Candace Nelson of Sprinkles Cupcakes and Jane Lockhart of Sweet Lady Jane as judges. Slater is a tattooed pocket hottie who doesn’t own a bakery but describes herself as being, “obsessed with cake.” Nelson’s Spinkles Cupcakes is a critically acclaimed bakery in Beverly Hills. Lockhart opened LA-based Sweet Lady Jane 20 years ago because she felt most commercial desserts were “too sweet.”
The contestantsfor the first episode were Whodidily Cupcakes, Sweet E’s, Hotcakes Bakes and Two Parts Sugar. Cupcake Wars airs Sundays at 10 p.m. ET on the Food Network.
So I watched and HERE is my review.
Check out my exclusive interview with judge Natalie Slater HERE.
