Food Network Canceled?
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
04/01/12
POPULAR FOOD NETWORK TO CEASE PROGRAMMING AT MONTH’S END
New York City – The E.W. Scripps Company announced today that after 19 years in production their popular Food Network will cease programming at the end of April. The move took many in assembly by surprise. The press conference was held at Chelsea Market on 75 9th Avenue, home of the Food Network Studios.
Milton Funderburk, Acting Assistant Vice-Chairman of Cable Programming for Scripps was asked why the media conglomerate was closing the doors on its most popular cable franchise, “The time is right. After all when we purchased TFN back in ’97 we thought it would fail miserably. That was the plan.
“We acquired the Network as a tax right off. We never dreamed anyone would actually watch it. Our thought was why would anyone want to watch someone else cooking on TV? I mean if they wanted to see someone cook, they could just go cook something. Apparently we under estimated the American public’s desire to live vicariously.”
Comments from Guy Fieri on Food Network’s pending demise. Article continues below.
Since the Food Network began programming in 1993 viewership has continued to grow though it was shaky in the beginning. Those first shows featured chefs who were virtual unknowns like Bobby Flay, Mario Batali and Emeril Legasse. Now it is one of the most successful cable channels in television history which fueled more questions about why Scripps was giving TFN the axe.
Funderburk explained, “It wasn’t long after we took the Network over that we realized, we may have stumbled onto something here. Viewership was growing exponentially and other vicariousity networks were springing up. Not only were viewers watching people cooking instead of cooking themselves but they were watching the Travel Channel instead of going on vacation, eschewing exercise for the Fitness Channel and watching HGTV in living rooms that were literally falling apart around them. I’ve heard that Time Warner is actually planning on unveiling the Sleeping Channel for people who are too lazy to fall asleep for themselves.
“The trend even crossed over into mainstream media. Instead of keeping up with politics America was watching The West Wing. There was no reason to invite the annoying neighbor over when you could tune into Jay Leno. Why watch fact-based news programming when there was MSNBC?”
When asked about the future of Food Network Canada Funderburk replied, “That’s toast, too. Not that anyone will notice, it’s Canada. I know it’s the largest state in the US but hardly anyone lives there. Let’s be honest if it wasn’t for the band Rush America would have never bought Canada from the Alaskans.”
The ultimate reason Funderburk offered for 86’ing their most popular holding was it’s very popularity. The demand for food programming is so high that not only have other cable channels like Bravo and TLC entered the market but so have mainstream networks NBC and FOX.
Funderburk, noticeably angry, proclaimed, “If there is one thing I can’t stand it is being copied. If everyone is going to dabble with food programming then we’ll just wash our hands of the whole thing. It doesn’t matter to us. We’ve always got our newspaper division. That’s not going anywhere.”
Stop the War on Southern Cuisine!
Apparently, the folks at Bon Appétit didn’t get the memo; the one where the New York media declared 2012 the year of hating Southern Cuisine. I just received the latest issue of BA today and it is a salute to America’s most import culinary region, the South.
I have often said that the Deep South has a culinary tradition unmatched in the New World. Dixie is to America what Tuscany is to Italy, what Provence is to France, it is the nation’s gastronomic heart and soul. And no Madison Avenue smear campaign can ever change that.
Many might think that the current assault on Southern Cuisine stems from the recent revelation that Paula Deen has diabetes. After all the brainless snobs at 30 Rock and their ilk have certainly crucified her for not revealing her condition until three years after her diagnosis. Just for the record, Ms. Deen has absolutely no responsibility to disclose any illness she may have. Anyone who thinks otherwise needs to post the entirety of their medical history online for everyone to read before even thinking to say anything.
But Paula Deen’s illness is just the latest piece of hypocrisy coming from the elitists, yet another salvo of class warfare. I’m not saying that Southern food doesn’t have it’s faults. It can be high calorie/high fat. But eaten in moderation it will never cause diabetes. Ever. Plus it’s no higher in fat or calories than the celebrated foods on New York City.
Let’s take a fried chicken dinner – 2 pieces of chicken (one breast, one leg) is roughly 550 calories and 24 grams of fat, mashed potatoes adds 240 calories, 9 grams of fat and the biscuit is another 130 calories and 6 grams of fat. That’s 920 total calories and 39 grams of fat. Yep, that’s pretty hefty.
Now let’s look at one of those giant slices of New York style pizza. It contains upwards of 7oo calories and nearly 40 grams of fat. Just one of those famous Coney Island hot dogs has more than 550 calories and a whopping 32 grams of fat. A big deli-style Reuben has over 900 calories and 60 grams of fat.
None of those numbers include sides. But since we’re on the subject, which do you think is healthier collard greens or potato chips? French fries or black eyed peas? The point is no one cuisine in and of itself is harmful. The secret to eating healthy is moderation. If you eat and exercise in moderation you don’t have to count calories or watch your fat intake. Like Paula said on NBC’s Today Show, “I’ve always said, ‘Practice moderation, y’all.’ I’ll probably say that a little louder now.”
So with that squashed, I think I’ll go fix some fish and grits.
